Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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