At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
