I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
