So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
