And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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