You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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