i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
