I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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