Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
