she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
