I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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