areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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