I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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