After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
As shirtless as possible
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
