I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
