Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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