You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
