I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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