The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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