Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
