I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
