he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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