Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I FOUND THE LEGS
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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