I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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