You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
