Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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