Farmville is her only friend.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
