1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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