I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
