Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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