i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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