so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
