have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Randomize
