i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
