we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
