don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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