he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i will never coherently bang her
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
