Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
