So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
