Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
