OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Randomize
