dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
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