she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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