dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
