Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
