Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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