whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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