He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
