you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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