We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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